Retail Rants

Retail workers understand:

See if you can understand what’s wrong in these rants & situations. If your a shopper give a little respect and you may just find you will get great service from your associates.

Really people, read the signs, SERVICE ANIMALS ONLY. Don’t expect a lot of service, “other than being asked to leave”, when you bring in your dog(s) to a department store.

Wear a shirt & shoes. If you have been drinking or are high COME ON IN, as that’s no problem, you make for great entertainment. Thieve’s if every associate you see is asking if you need help you’ve been busted, just drop the merchandise and leave.

Salesperson approaches a customer smiles and asks “How are you today?”

Customer: “Im not doing worth a shit! You guys NEVER have what I need.”

Salesperson thinks for a moment, apologizes & asks, Why, if we “never” have what you need do you insist on coming back time after time JUST to be disappointed?”

Folks, if the place you shop doesn’t have what you need don’t cop an attitude. Special order your item(s) or shop another place. It does no good to blast the salesperson who is there to help.

Customer: Asks you over the phone, “Can you help me”
Salesperson: “Sure, what can I do for you”

Customer: “My 1 year old washing machine is making noises. Like chuga chuga clank sounds, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Salesperson: “Did you buy it from us?”

Customer: “No”

Salesperson: “You should call the store where you bought it from, they will be able to help you.”

Customer: “Can’t you tell me what’s wrong with it?”

Salesperson: “No I just sell them, what you need is a service person from where you bought it.”

Customer: “Can you transfer me”

Salesperson: “No, I wish I could”

Customer: “But you said I need to talk to a service person”

Salesperson: “Yes, where you bought it from”

Customer: “So you can’t help me?”

Salesperson: Few seconds pause, “Hold & let me ask one of our specialists ma’am”, puts the phone down on the counter. “Ma’am, he says it sounds like a problem with your water intake flux control.”

Customer: “How can I fix it?”

Salesperson: Few seconds pause,“Let me check,” associate lays the phone down, shakes their head & smiles.“Ma’am, he said to take a freezer size ziplock bag & fill it with ice. You will need to put the bag on your controls on the washer. He said you may have to do this a few times the next couple of days but that it should cool off the bearings in the controls and eliminate the noise.”
Customer: “Ok, Nana go get me a bag of ice, we will do that but what if it doesn’t work.”
Salesperson: “Then just call our service department at (insert Competitors telephone number here) and they will get you taken care of.”

    At this point several
    things need pointing out.

  1. Use your brain & call the place WHERE YOU BOUGHT THE ITEM from.
  2. Choose someone with higher intelligence to make the
    call.

  3. If the person says they can’t help you, DO NOT push the issue.

    Let just one more customer ask, “Do you work here?”

  • “No, they sell these aprons/smocks/jackets on aisle 12, whole pile on em on clearance!”

    Asked often, “Can’t you do better on this price?”

  • People this is a retail store not a flea market. There’s no “Spin the Wheel of Discounts”.

    “Do you have any scratch & dents?”

  • “No, but my wife still says I’m worthless”

  • Customer who walks up with a dog on leash/in cart

  • “Ohhh someone brought lunch!”

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